2002-03-16 2:04 a.m.

hooray for life partners!

jesus christ, i have to stop falling in love.

no, it's not pessimistic, i just do it far too easily. i have my regular (distef) who just drags me deeper and deeper into his heart and life and then there are old (but still fresh) crushes that come back with a vengeance.

and then of course there are those boys i see on the street that i tell amanda i'm going to marry.

"see him? that's my husband."

it's a sorry sight. just today outside amc i saw this boy, straight-leg jeans, short blond hair (not spiked but soft) and little hooded jacket. i saw him and i knew. ppfft. "knew" my ass.

i decided that if he ended up in the same movie as me we would spend our lives together. well guess what. there he was, an adorable little silhouette standing above the stairs at the end of the movie. so after some very intense glances (mutual ones, at that) i leave. i don't see him after. another true love down the drain.

and just as i get over it, i have to fall in love with dizboy all over again, when he says everything i feel about kids in one little entry. plus, i like that bandana.

geez. and i'm about to be set up by a lez friend with a boy named laurence. we'll see how that turns out.

so now i have five or six soulmates (i've lost track)to spend the rest of my life with. but the hard part is, i need to spend it with one person. i'm monogamy's poster boy. can't you just see me at the monogamy parade with my little 'hooray for lifepartners' tshirt?

sometimes i embarrass even myself.

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